Posts Tagged ‘Naugle Counseling Services’

Relationships are a central factor in all of our lives. They give life meaning and purpose. To be loved by another person is an essential need and want. Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines relationship in the following ways:

1. The quality or state of being related; connection

2. Connection by blood, marriage, etc; kinship

3. A particular instance of being related

4. A continued attachment or association between person, firms, etc.; specifically one between lovers.

For the purpose of this post, I am going to focus on the last definition. A continued attachment or association between person, firms, etc. Yes, relationships are an essential part of our lives. During your teen years and early 20′s you will have relationships with a lot of people. They will include friendships as well as dating relationships. A healthy relationship features mutual respect, trust, honesty, equality, good communication, and they make us feel good about ourselves. In a healthy relationship each partner helps the other to become “the best they can be”. They don’t try to change, fix or control the other. There is mutual respect on all fronts and a balance of oneness (closeness) and separation from each other. Above all else personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged. A healthy relationship involves give and take at all times. Many teens and young adults may find themselves in healthy relationships and continue to make plans for their future together. That is awesome. I have been married for 26 years to my husband. It has been quite a journey.

So what are some of the factors to distinguish between a healthy and unhealthy relationship? A real easy measurement is that in an unhealthy relationship you feel the exact opposite of how you feel in a healthy relationship. There is not mutual trust, respect, or open communication. There is not “room to grow” or the person wants to try to change you into something you are not. If you are experiencing any type of abuse or violence such as verbal, physical, emotional or sexual that is an unhealthy relationship! This can involve both people being violent or abusive towards each other or can involve only one person doing this to the other. Many times a relationship is not abusive in the beginning but over time abusive behavior might show. Usually the abuser will have an excuse and swear that it will never happen again. The abuse usually continues to happen despite promises and can intensify in both the abuse itself and it’s frequency. 

Common warning signs of an Abusive or Unhealthy Relationship (RED FLAGS) include:

* becomes jealous or possessive of you- gets angry when you talk or hang out with other friends or people of the opposite sex

* bosses you around, makes all the decisions, tells you what to do.

* tells you what to wear, who to talk to , where you can go

*is violent to other people, gets in fights a lot, loses his/her temper a lot.

*pressures you to have sex or to do something sexual that you don’t want to do.

*blames you for his or her problems, tells you that it is your fault that he or she hurt you.

*insults you or tries to embarrass you in front of other people

*has physically hurt you

*make you feel scared of their reactions to things.

*calls or texts all the time and wants to always know where you are going and who you are with.

If you have experienced any of these signs in your dating relationship please heed this advice. YOU NEED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON! Talk to a trusted adult such as: a parent, teacher, doctor, nurse, close friends,pastor, or professional counselor about the reality of the relationship. Have a strong support system in place. If the first person you talk to does not take your situation seriously, keep trying until you find someone who will listen to you. 

Unhealthy relationship are toxic. They will continue to get worse over time. Even though the person promises to change, statistics show that most don’t. Please read again the characteristics of a healthy relationship. You deserve the best. 

Until Next Time,

Lory

Parenting is the toughest job you will ever do in your life. Parenting a child with ADHD can be even more challenging. Last week in my post, I gave the following tips:

1. The Importance of a Positive Attitude

2. Provide Structure and Be Consistent

3. Set Clear Expectations and Rules

Those 3 tips alone can help to make positive changes in both your life as a parent and the life of your child. More tips to help make life easier include:

4. Promoting Physical Activity and Better Sleep: Children with ADHD usually have energy to burn. Organized sports and other physical activities can help them get their energy out in healthy ways and focus their attention on specific movements and skills. The benefits of physical activity are huge: it improves concentration, decreases depression and anxiety, and promotes brain growth. Physical activity also leads to better sleep, which can reduce the symptoms of ADHD. Finding a team or individual sport with constant motion such as soccer, basketball, football, hockey, or volleyball are better options than sports that have “down time”, such as softball and baseball. I remember when my son started playing baseball. He was an outfielder and there was an active train track behind the baseball field. While in the outfield, he would pick grass and if a train came through forget it…..all his attention was on the train. He didn’t care what was happening with the game. Many children with ADHD also benefit from martial arts training, tae kwon do, or even yoga which enhances mental control along with physical endurance. Insufficient sleep affects all children but can have exaggerated consequences for those children with ADHD. Overstimulation and medication side effects can have an adverse reaction in sleep patterns. Some strategies to use to help your child get the sleep they need include: Have a consistent, early bedtime, decrease television time (increase activities levels and exercise during the day), eliminate all caffeine from your child’s diet, lower the activity level for an hour or so before bedtime, spend 10 to 15 minutes cuddling with your child, use relaxation tapes as a background noise in their bedroom. You can also run an electric fan or purchase a sound machine which has different settings of “white noise”.

5. Establish Healthy Eating Habits: Studies have found that food can and does affect a child’s mental state, which in turn affects behavior. Monitoring and modifying what,, when, and how much your child eats can help decrease the symptoms of ADHD. All children benefit from fresh foods, regular meal times, and staying away from junk food. Schedule healthy meals or snacks for your child no more than 3 hours apart. Meal times are necessary breaks and add a scheduled rhythm to the day for your child. For the benefit of your child and you get rid of the junk foods in your home, offer healthy alternatives, and supplement your child’s diet with a multivitamin each day.

6. Teaching your Child Positive Social Skills: Children with ADHD often have difficulty with simple social interactions. They may struggle with talking too much, interrupting frequently, or come off as aggressive or intense. Due to their emotional immaturity they may become targets for unfriendly teasing. Many children with ADHD are exceptionally intelligent and creative but it is hard for them to learn social skills and social rules. Incorporating some of the following may help: Speak gently but honestly with your child abut his behavior and how to make changes, role play social scenes or scenarios with your child- trade roles often and try to make it fun, select playmates carefully for your child, select those with similar language and physical skills, invite only one friend at a time in the beginning, watch closely while they play, and set a zero tolerance policy for hitting, pushing and yelling in your house or yard- remember to follow through with consequences.

I understand it is very difficult at times to remember and follow through with all these suggestions. Some days will be better than others- we all deal with that. Through time,effort and growth on the part of your child things will improve and become more stable. 

I hope you find these tips useful, I encourage you to give me comments and feedback. It is especially helpful for most parents and children to receive counseling to help deal with ADHD. Counseling can help the child recognize his feelings, improve his social skills, and communication in the household. 

Until next time,

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC provides counseling online and in her private practice in Shippensburg, PA. She specializes in anxiety, depression and ADHD disorders in Children and Adults. Please see her contact information on her web site: www.nauglecounseling.com

     It has been well over a week since I last posted on this blog. Sorry about that, several occurances happened since my last post. I had the opportunity to attend a local Chamber Mixer in my hometown. This particular mixer was held at a local nursing home facility. In talking with the Director of the home we began to discuss depression and suicide in the elderly. She stated that she recently attended a seminar and was suprised to learn that elderly men have a higher rate of suicide than teenage boys. This statistic has held true for many years. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, of every 100,000 people ages 65 and older, 14.2 died by suicide in 2006. Non-Hispanic white men age 85 or older had an even higher rate, with 48 suicide deaths per 100,000.These figures are much higher than the national average of 10.9 suicides per 100,000 people in the general population!  These are very scary statistics. In order to bring attention to these alarming rates, I feel it is very important for everyone to learn and understand the RISK FACTORS. They include:

1. depression and other mental disorders, or a substance-abuse disorder
2. prior suicide attempt
3. family history of mental disorder or substance abuse
4. family history of suicide
5. family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
6. firarms in the home, the method used in more than half of suicides
7. incarceration
8. exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, such as family members, peers, or media figures.

Please Note: suicide and suicidal behavior are Not normal responses to stress; many people have these risk factors, but are not suicidal. Research also shows that the risk for suicide is associated with changes in brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, including serotonin. Decreased levels of serotonin have been found in people with depression, impulsive disorders, and a history of suicide attempts, and in the brains of suicide victims.

As you can see, Depression is a HUGE risk factor. Earlier this week we received the May edition of the AARP Bulletin in the mail (my husband is the subscriber). In this edition they published an excellent article on depression among older adults written by Peter Jaret. In the article it stated that depression is the most common of all mental illnesses. Depression affects approximately 7% of the population and more than one in 10 Americans have a prescription for antidepressants, which is now among the most widely used of all medications.

Depression can express itself in many ways among the general population. Depression is often associated with persistent sadness and melancholy. The symptoms of depression can also be a loss of pleasure and enjoyment in the things people used to enjoy, or a change in one’s sense of oneself, a feeling of worthlessness and uselessness, a change in appetite, weight, and or sleeping patterns. These particular “markers” also apply to older people but at times are just dismissed as a normal  part of aging. In reality, the vast majority of older people go through life’s ups and downs without suffering depression. The experts insist that depression is NOT a normal part of aging.

Among older people the symptoms may present themselves in more physical forms such as problems sleeping, aches and pains, memory complaints, difficulty with concentration, and changes in appetite. An example of these types of complaints may be, “I can’t sleep, nothing taste good, and my back hurts”. Older adults may not talk to their doctor or family members about their sad or anxious feelings because they are embarrassed or don’t want them to worry about them. But depression is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is not a personal weakness, it is a medical illness and can be treated.

Treatment Options

Once diagnosed, 80% of clinically depressed individuals, including older persons, can be effectively treated by medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. Studies have shown that the combination of medication along with psychotherapy to be highly effective for banishing the shadows of depression for good. Remember you don’t have to live this way; Help is available and Proven Effective.

Until Next Time,

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC

     Last week I received a consultative phone call from an upset mother. The daycare that her 5 year old son attends gave her an ultimatum, either obtain counseling for your son, put him on medication or he will no longer be welcome at the center. WOW, quite a statement for a daycare center to make! So you can see why she was so upset. When obtaining more detail from her. She stated that her son had begun to have more frequent “meltdowns” during the day. She described her son as being a “high energy” child that often acts impulsively and seems to always find trouble. She went on to explain that the center had some staffing changes along with program changes. She also stated that her son became a big brother 7 months prior. She continued to state that his little brother was born 10 weeks early and was in the NICU for almost 8 weeks. She was in the hospital for almost 2 full weeks before delivery due to preeclampsia. This had been a traumatic time for their family. The mother was so worried and felt helpless. Was it the major life change with having a new baby in the house? Could it be the program and staff changes that are creating this behavior? Most importantly what can be done to help her son? I went onto explain that counseling can help her son and also to talk with her pediatrician to determine whether or not to medicate her son.

In obtaining more information, I was suspecting that her son could be diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). What information was I using to suspect this disorder? Let me break down some of the basic information for you.

ADHD is the current term for a specific developmental disorder seen in both children and adults that is comprised of deficits in behavioral inhibition, sustained attention and resistance to distractions, and the regulation of one’s activity level to the demands of a situation (hyperactivity or restlessness). 

There are three subtypes to this disorder. I will list the criteria listed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV), The Bible for those working in the mental health field, for each subtype. They are:

Inattentive Type – six (or more) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level.

1.  often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
2.  often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
3. often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
4. often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the work-place (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
5. often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
6. often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework).
7. often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g.,toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
8. is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.
9. is often forgetful in daily activities.

Hyperactive type – six (or more) of the following symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:

1. often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.
2. often leaves seat in classroom or in other situation in which remaining seated is expected.
3. often runs about or climbs excessively in situation in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness).
4. often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly.
5. is often “on the go” or often acts as if “driven by a motor”.
6. often talks excessively
7. often blurts out answers before questions have been completed.
8. often has difficulty awaiting turn.
9. often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games).

Combined Type- Criteria from both categories have been met for the past 6 months.

Some of the additional criteria for ADHD include the following:

1. Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms that caused impairment were present before age 7 years.
2. Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g., at school, work, or at home).
3. There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic or occupational functioning.

ADHD is a performance deficit, not doing what you know. The child or the adult has problems maintaining a consistent level of performance. A diagnosis should not and cannot be made without some detailed history. These histories should include: A Detailed Family History, A Detailed School History, Interviews/Observations with the child, Other Psychological Testing as Indicated.

Based on the information that mom was giving me, her child did meet many of the diagnosis criteria. There is help available in dealing with ADHD, either as an adult or a child. One interesting note is that the research today is suggesting that ADHD has a genetic feature which indicates it is highly inherited, it is neurological suggesting that children are “born with it”, it is internal vs. eternal, and it is NOT deliberate on the part of the child.

Treatment for ADHD consist of Medical support (medication), Psychological support through a Professional Counselor (for the Child and the Parents), and Educational support through the school system. 

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC, is a Professional Counselor in Private Practice. She offers counseling in her office and online. She specializes in Anxiety Disorders and ADHD for both children and adults.

When living with anxiety it is important to be aware of specific triggers. Once you begin to identify your triggers you can begin to lower the intensity of the anxiety and with practice take your anxiety to a non- existance level!

 This morning I had to put into practice what I preach. I had a dental appointment! Going to the dentist for me is a major trigger. I am middle aged…not yet 50 but going to the dentist when I was a young girl was never a pleasant experience. In fact it was so bad that I used to pass out in the waiting room. Of course I had no idea back then that it was actually situational anxiety, neither did my parents.

Anxiety is always fear based. I was afraid of the dentist and the associated pain. My dentist always had his novicane injection laying on the table in front of the chair. As I remember it, it was HUGE! The needle was so long and the whole device was just so intimidating. No numbing before hand back then. The benefits of floride were just becoming discovered, so having cavities was a regular occurance. When I was in 5th grade I broke off a front tooth by falling off my poco stick. The process of getting my first cap was a terrifing experience. The cap did not match any of my other teeth due to the fact that it was a temporary one until all my permanent teeth came in. So another very negative experience with the dentist.

Dentistry has progressed a long way since then. In fact I can honestly say that most of the dental work today now verges on being painless!  The needles are sharper and smaller and they numb the spot beforehand where the injection is to be! The drills are more high speed along with many other advancements.

I realize that my anxiety trigger was situational, going to the dentist.  The root of any anxiety is fear! How did I decrease my anxiety level, easy by practicing the following:

* I stopped my “what ifs” thoughts by focusing on the present moment and not allowing my mind to make up all sorts of terrible garbage. I literally visualize a stop sign in my head and tell myself to stop thinking those thoughts, that I am safe and will be fine.

* I continued to practice deep breathing and make myself aware to stay in the present (NOW) time. Often times when we are experiencing anxiety our breathing becomes very shallow and our muscles begin to tense.

* I remind myself that the fear I am feeling is from past negative experiences and to let that go. Today is different and I will be just fine. When you face your fear it does something very powerful-it takes away its power over you thus reducing your anxiety.

I survived just fine. No pain and no more anxiety.  Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life, you can attack it and take away it’s power.

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC is in private practice in Shippensburg, PA.  She offers counseling in her office and through distance means such as Skype, secure email, chat and by telephone. See the online counseling page on her web site for more information or contact her to schedule an appointment.

Anxiety and worry are part of everyday life. In today’s world there are many things that can cause us to worry or have anxiety such as job security, financial debts, relationships, our health or the health of loved ones. The list could go on and on. Anxiety is a natural part of life. Everyone has it.

Anxiety triggers our brain to produce adrenaline when we feel threatened to confront the real danger or a difficult situation. An alarm system has been activated, this is how it all starts. Our nervous system has been warned that something is wrong, that danger is present or possible. Cortisol is secreted. These stimulants rapidly course through the body. This state prepares our bodies for large physical or mental challenges. It helps us run faster from danger, study harder, and confront other obstacles. This “fight or flight” mode is triggered when anxiety reaches a certain point. The dictionary definition of worry states: anxiety and cause of anxiety. The dictionary definition for anxiety states: uneasiness usually over an expected misfortune. Okay so when does worry and anxiety become a problem?

The point that normal anxiety grows to be a problem varies with each person, depending on their resilience, the way they handle stress, and how they control their anxiety. The simple test is that anxiety becomes a problem when it starts to affect other areas of your life. The worrying can become so excessive, distressing, and intrusive that it interferes with normal functioning. Its difficult or impossible to control the anxiety and focus on something else. There are a host of physical symptoms associated with anxiety disorder. Some of the more common symptoms include:

1.  strong episodes of anxiousness and panicky feelings
2. racing heart and chest discomfort
3. dizziness or lightheadedness
4. feelings of bewilderment and unreality
5. inner nervousness
6. scary, uncontrollable thoughts
7. nausea, upset stomach, diarrhea
8. hot and cold flashes
9. numbness or strange aches and pains, muscle tension
10. feelings of depression and hopelessness
11. restless feelings, sleeping too much or insomnia
12. difficulty in breathing (hyperventilation)
13. uncontrollable bouts of anger

People that have an anxiety disorder then tend to worry and stress over the physical symptoms internalizing a fear of having a heart attack, going insane, losing control, embarrassment, death, illness, hurting themselves or someone else, fainting, or difficulty in breathing. The irony is that these fears actually create the above symptoms and the above symptoms create these fears. It become a very vicious cycle.

It has been estimated that as many as 10% of the people who repeatedly make visits to health-care providers may have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are very treatable. Treatment methods can include medication, and talk therapy with a professional counselor. In therapy you will learn to deal with worry, negative thoughts, and the “what ifs” syndrome not only for a short term but for the rest of your life. 

Until Next Time,

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC