Posts Tagged ‘Lory Naugle’

     It’s hard to believe but the holiday season is once again upon us. It is to be “The Most Happiest Time of the Year”, but for many if not most people it can be the most stressful time of the year! If the past holiday seasons have taken their emotional toll on you here are some tips to help stop or reduce those feelings this year.

      ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS- If someone close to you has recently died or can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.

      REACH OUT- If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

      BE REALISTIC- The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold onto, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as using social media to share pictures, chat, and even Skype each other during the holiday season. 

     SET ASIDE DIFFERENCES- Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.

     STICK TO A BUDGET- Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget! Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts, or gifts from second hand stores or start a family gift exchange. My girlfriend and I started this several years ago giving a certain amount of money (that we usually spent on each other) to a specific cause over the holiday season. One was a family that had just lost their mother and needed help paying for the funeral expenses. 

     PLAN AHEAD- Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

     LEARN TO SAY NO- Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

     DON’T ABANDON HEALTHY HABITS- Don’t let the holidays become a free for all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.

     TAKE A BREATHER- Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.

     SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU NEED IT – Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. 

      Don’t let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the season. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could. 

Wishing you a stress free and fun holiday season!!

Lory

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC is in private practice in Shippensburg, PA. She provides counseling in her office and by distance methods such as secure email, chat, and by Skype. Lory specializes in Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, Adjustment Disorders, and Drug and Alcohol Abuse and Dependency.

     Suicide has once again been getting a lot of media attention after the suicide of the Rutgers University college student. It must be especially hard for his friends and family at this difficult time to hear the incident replayed over and over again. My heart goes out to them.

     I feel addressing this issue again is important. If all the media attention in regards to this subject can spare another person’s life then there is meaning behind it. I previously have writtten about suicide and the elderly and I feel that I now need to address the subject of suicide among college students. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among college students than all medical illnesses combined. As a semester continues along, students are under a lot of pressure.

     Gregg Easterbrook presents some interesting statistics in his latest blog.  He states that in 2007, there were about 42 million Americans aged 15-24. The self-inflicted death rate for this group was about one in 10,300. That is  roughly 4,000 suicides that year by those of teens to college age. As you can see this is an issue that needs to continue to be addressed.

     It is essential to understand that each student’s reactions and feelings are very important and to try to provide each of them the support that is needed. If you are a teenager or college student and have any friends that are having difficulties, please guide that person to someone who can help them, such as a school counselor, a counselor on campus in the counseling department, a mental health therapist in your area, or a trusted adult. It is important to understand that suicide can be impulsive and difficult to predict, however, there are things that can be done to prevent tragedies from occurring. It is important to have a dialogue and allow those having difficulty express their feelings openly. It is helpful to reach out to others. Listed below are some signs and symptoms of suicide. If you recognize these signs and symptoms in others or in yourself, please seek help immediately.

Signs:

• Morbid or depressing themes in written assignments
• Preoccupation with death
• Stating that life is not worth living
• Abrupt changes in behavior, mood, or appearance
• Sudden distancing from other students, friends, or adults
• Excessive absences in school or in classes
• Loss of initiative
• Has a plan or the means to hurt themselves

Symptoms:

• Low Energy
• Drug or Alcohol problems
• Flat affect or absence of feeling expression
• Loss of appetite
• Change in sleep patterns
• Severe depression
• Crying spells
• Hopelessness or helplessness
• Increase in life stressors (e.g., loss of a loved one or job, moving)
• Sense of immobilization
• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of guilt or remorse
• Isolation or withdrawal from others
• Giving away possessions or making amends in relationships
• Overt talk of death or suicide
• Pursuit of dangerous activities

If someone does talk about feeling suicidal or seems to be thinking about it, take him or her seriously. Do whatever it takes to get them the help they need- You may be saving a life!

Until Next Time,

Lory

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC  offers Professional Counseling in her office and online. She specializes in anxiety disorders, depression, ADHD, grief and loss, drug and alcohol treatment, and PTSD.

    My husband and I have an anniversary coming up soon. It will be our 27th! My parent’s celebrated their 61st anniversary this year, wow. In our local newspaper they list anniversaries under the celebrations category including those couples who have celebrated 25th, 50th, 60th and more. It is a time of celebration to mark those milestones in ones relationship with their partner. Many couples married this year for the 1st time. It is a very exciting event for the couple. All the planning and expectations of sharing their lives together. Although all marital unions are not created equal-they all go through some predictable stages. According to, Rita DeMaria, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and author of The 7 Stages of Marriage, the timing may differ, and the way a couple manages the phase they’re in varies widely but understanding the stages gives you the tools you need to move through with your loving union intact. Below are the list of the stages and some of the challenges that go with that stage:

• HONEYMOON STAGE:   The first year or two is a passion-filled period that all about the two of you and your intense focus on the excitement and romance of the relationship. Differences seem relatively unimportant as the focus is on discovering each other and sharing life together. Usually you cannot get enough of each other sexually. At this stage, we love the way our partner makes us feel as much as we love him or her. 
•  Challenges At This Stage: Learning to live as a couple and share decision making together. Many times this is the first time that decisions affect  someone other than yourself. Should you invest in a home, car, or travel? What are the expectations concerning your careers or educations? How will you handle financial matters? What about extended family (parents and in-laws)? Many couples feel that their love for each other will automatically determine the answers to these questions and many are “caught” off guard when discussions turn into arguments in hearing the other’s viewpoint. 

• REALITY STAGE:  In this stage couples are learning more about themselves and each other in situations they haven’t faced together before. You may learn things that you might not have known about your spouse’s strengths, weaknesses and personal habits. Power struggles can arise as the two of you work towards both shared and separate goals. Working together as a team should be the focus of this stage. In this stage couples may discuss having children. Many couples feel that the “Spark” has left their marriage and interpret this to mean that one of the partners has fallen “out of love”. They may decide that bringing children into the marriage at this time, may help reignite that spark. In actuality, euphoria is replaced by more solid emotions like trust, respect, empathy and admiration. The highs aren’t as high and the lows aren’t as low; the relationship becomes more stable, predictable and dependable.    
•   Challenges At This Stage:  There may be feelings of disappointment, aloneness along with a “let down” as reality sets in. This is marriage’s                 vulnerable stage. It’s a time when a woman can go from feeling cherished to being taken for granted and when a man can go from feeling admired to     be belittled. Reality and a wide range of roles and responsibilities start to impose upon the lust and love. This is the stage that you need to establish open communication. Set time aside each day, either in the mornings or evenings, where you just check in with each other and talk about your day. If regular open communication is not established during this stage, years later you may wake up lying next to a stranger in bed wondering how you grew so far apart. It is also in this stage that marriage counseling can have the most benefit for the couple instead of trying to ignore the problems and differences until they reach a point that some of the damage is irreversible.

•  FAMILY CENTRAL:  This stage is often referred to as “the meat of marriage”. Most of the years spent in this stage consist of raising their families, buying a home, building and/or changing careers and trying to hold together a crazy, busy, modern life. This period of time is also another danger zone, due to the shifting of demands and responsibilities. The stress level is usually the highest in this stage. It’s very difficult to keep sufficient focus on the marriage relationship with the attention that kids demand and other stressors in the relationship, but it is important to do so. This is also the time period that many couples become disappointed and disillusioned to the “Ground Hog Day” type of routine. Partners may begin having an affair, or worse yet, asking for a divorce due to the lack of focus on the marriage. 
•  Challenges at This Stage: Not losing sight of your partnership in the swirl of demands on your time and energy. Now is the time to pay close                 attention to your marriage. Give yourselves time to communicate without distractions. Plan a regular date night when just the two of you share regular   time together. Plan a getaway weekend to reconnect without all the stresses of the outside world. Open, honest and sensitive communication is the         key to surviving this stage of the marriage. If the same issues continue to arise and one or both of you are feeling frustrated, couples counseling can be   very helpful in this stage to help you get unstuck.

• STILL IN LOVE;  This is the stage when you now have adult children and there is more time to focus on the two of you. During this stage there is a reconnecting with getting to know each other all over again. There are still disagreements but rather than hold onto the anger, partners choose to forgive and trust. We easily learn to live the lesson of mature and lasting love.
•  Challenges at This Stage: Focusing on the two of you and having time to spend together may be a struggle for some couples. Focusing their energies  on the children, careers, and other life stressors for so many years may be a huge adjustment for many couples. Without consistent, open                            communication throughout the marriage, your partner may feel like a stranger. It is during this time that couples need to focus their time on doing          things together, such as a new activity or travel, as well as spending time apart, pursuing individual goals and dreams. You can rescue a marriage            that’s been ignored for a long time, but it will take work, so seek out professional counseling. 

• “TILL DEATH DO YOU PART.”:  This stage is also referred to as the completion stage. You have enjoyed the lust, lived the love and come through the chaos of family life- without splitting up in the face of troubles. You still enjoy being together and are committed to each other for the rest of your lives. 
•  Challenges at This Stage:  Many couples in this stage are totally committed to each other. Health issues may be a primary concern at this stage.           You may have dreamed of the freedom to travel and do what you want, but one or the other partner is unable to do so because of health concerns.               There may be added financial stress due to living on a fixed income and the current recession. Changes in lifestyle such as living arraignments may         be a source of stress and adjustments. 

At any time during you marriage you may experience unexpected life stressors that can interrupt the forward motion of your life together, such as fertility issues, a death in the family, a major illness or the loss of a job that leads to serious financial strains. Seeking support  during those times is very important. You may seek advice from friends, family members, religious counselors or professional therapist.

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC is a professional counselor in private practice in Shippensburg, PA. She sees client’s in her office but is also able to provide counseling by distance means such as email, chat, and Skype.

Parenting a teenager is one of the most difficult challenges a parent will face. A Yiddish proverb states, Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life. All parents face this time in their children’s life and wonder what has happened to the child they used to know. Volumes of books have been written about the subject. In looking back over my own experience of raising teenagers I feel lucky that I survived. I’m very proud of my young adults and who they are becoming.  My daughter and I clashed a lot. I was her target of blame for almost anything at times. I had to learn to pick my battles carefully and then be firm and follow through with the consequences. I was not her friend I was her mother. Below are some tips to follow as you navigate parenting a teen.

• Set Limits and Follow Through on the Consequences – Your teenager still needs your guidance and even though they will never admit it at the time, they need you to say no. By setting and enforcing rules, parents give teens predictabiltiy and structure, as well as a way to combat peer pressure. Without your caring oversight, teens are left feeling isolated and alone. One of the most common reaction from teens in regards to this, I need limits. I’m going to yell at you and react to them, but when you don’t give me any, it makes me feel like I’m in charge. I may say that’s what I want, but it really scares me.
• Always Listen – You may know what it’s like to be a teenager, but your child know what it’s like to be a teenager today. Teens today are dealing with a whole new set of stressors. Your teen may not want to talk about things when you want to talk but letting your teen know that you are available when they want to talk is important. Many  times we would have conversations in our household with our teens at the oddest times. No they weren’t always convient but looking back they were very powerful. Try to find a common interest with them in regards to a movie, sport, or other activity and talk about it without being critical. I love having conversations with my daughter about the Twilight saga. It’s interesting to find out which character they identify with and why. The teens response to this is, Sometimes I actually do want to talk to you. I just don’t know how. Find creative ways to make me talk to you. It’ll take the pressure off. 
• Keep your Anger focused on Their Actions Not on Them as a Person- Teenagers can become very angry people. They continue to fight for their independence and less control by their parents. Teens can and do get overloaded with stress. They have poor coping skills, and getting angry is the only way they know how to avoid feeling sad, hurt, or afraid. Some of the most common teen responses to this include: I don’t always know why I’m angry, irritable, sad, or worried. Sometimes I may need you to help me figure it out. But sometimes, I may want to figure it out alone. And I’m not as in control as I am trying to look. Sometimes my hormones make me feel crazy. I haven’t learned how to regulate myself yet. One phrase I used quite often with my teens was that I really loved them, I just didn’t like their behavior at the moment. 
• Give Your Teen Honest Compliments- Yes, I totally understand how hard this can be at times. But as parents it is easy to see all the things that they are doing wrong and not give notice to the things they are doing right. This is extremely important at this age. Teens do care what their parents think! You may give compliments as to how they handled a difficult situation, or in regards to their grades in school, or particular friends they are choosing to hang around with. I remember giving my daughter compliments on how she did her hair and makeup and trying something new (going out for a sports team). Because I was a professional counselor, she often asked advice on how to handle some of her friend’s problems, and I would be amazed as to how she thought she should handle them. Teenagers especially love to hear their parents give positive feedback about them to others. People would often ask me about raising a teenage daughter and I would say, ” I love the person she is becoming”.  Teens want their parents to be proud of them and accept them for who they are. This means resisting the urge to compare your child to others. Teens already spend their days assessing how they measure up and feeling badly about themselves – they are relying on you to be their biggest supporter. 
• Try to Find a Compromise that Both Parties Can Accept - Teens consistently push their boundaries. When incorporating open communication as best you can, let your teen know that you are willing to trust them more but along with that trust comes more responsibility on their part. Compromises are and will always be a part of any type of relationship. Talk openly so both parties can accept what was agreed upon. 

If you continue to have conflicts with your teen, it is especially helpful to seek counseling with a professional. Not only does this give  your teen a chance to express themselves but also to talk to someone other than a parent or friend. Most professional counselors will also work with the parent on communication and parenting skills along with support for all parties involved.

“I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I’m rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager”. Author Unknown

Until Next Time,

Lory

If you like this article, please let me know and share it with family and friends. Thanks and have a great holiday weekend.

Relationships are a central factor in all of our lives. They give life meaning and purpose. To be loved by another person is an essential need and want. Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines relationship in the following ways:

1. The quality or state of being related; connection

2. Connection by blood, marriage, etc; kinship

3. A particular instance of being related

4. A continued attachment or association between person, firms, etc.; specifically one between lovers.

For the purpose of this post, I am going to focus on the last definition. A continued attachment or association between person, firms, etc. Yes, relationships are an essential part of our lives. During your teen years and early 20′s you will have relationships with a lot of people. They will include friendships as well as dating relationships. A healthy relationship features mutual respect, trust, honesty, equality, good communication, and they make us feel good about ourselves. In a healthy relationship each partner helps the other to become “the best they can be”. They don’t try to change, fix or control the other. There is mutual respect on all fronts and a balance of oneness (closeness) and separation from each other. Above all else personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged. A healthy relationship involves give and take at all times. Many teens and young adults may find themselves in healthy relationships and continue to make plans for their future together. That is awesome. I have been married for 26 years to my husband. It has been quite a journey.

So what are some of the factors to distinguish between a healthy and unhealthy relationship? A real easy measurement is that in an unhealthy relationship you feel the exact opposite of how you feel in a healthy relationship. There is not mutual trust, respect, or open communication. There is not “room to grow” or the person wants to try to change you into something you are not. If you are experiencing any type of abuse or violence such as verbal, physical, emotional or sexual that is an unhealthy relationship! This can involve both people being violent or abusive towards each other or can involve only one person doing this to the other. Many times a relationship is not abusive in the beginning but over time abusive behavior might show. Usually the abuser will have an excuse and swear that it will never happen again. The abuse usually continues to happen despite promises and can intensify in both the abuse itself and it’s frequency. 

Common warning signs of an Abusive or Unhealthy Relationship (RED FLAGS) include:

* becomes jealous or possessive of you- gets angry when you talk or hang out with other friends or people of the opposite sex

* bosses you around, makes all the decisions, tells you what to do.

* tells you what to wear, who to talk to , where you can go

*is violent to other people, gets in fights a lot, loses his/her temper a lot.

*pressures you to have sex or to do something sexual that you don’t want to do.

*blames you for his or her problems, tells you that it is your fault that he or she hurt you.

*insults you or tries to embarrass you in front of other people

*has physically hurt you

*make you feel scared of their reactions to things.

*calls or texts all the time and wants to always know where you are going and who you are with.

If you have experienced any of these signs in your dating relationship please heed this advice. YOU NEED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON! Talk to a trusted adult such as: a parent, teacher, doctor, nurse, close friends,pastor, or professional counselor about the reality of the relationship. Have a strong support system in place. If the first person you talk to does not take your situation seriously, keep trying until you find someone who will listen to you. 

Unhealthy relationship are toxic. They will continue to get worse over time. Even though the person promises to change, statistics show that most don’t. Please read again the characteristics of a healthy relationship. You deserve the best. 

Until Next Time,

Lory

Parenting is the toughest job you will ever do in your life. Parenting a child with ADHD can be even more challenging. Last week in my post, I gave the following tips:

1. The Importance of a Positive Attitude

2. Provide Structure and Be Consistent

3. Set Clear Expectations and Rules

Those 3 tips alone can help to make positive changes in both your life as a parent and the life of your child. More tips to help make life easier include:

4. Promoting Physical Activity and Better Sleep: Children with ADHD usually have energy to burn. Organized sports and other physical activities can help them get their energy out in healthy ways and focus their attention on specific movements and skills. The benefits of physical activity are huge: it improves concentration, decreases depression and anxiety, and promotes brain growth. Physical activity also leads to better sleep, which can reduce the symptoms of ADHD. Finding a team or individual sport with constant motion such as soccer, basketball, football, hockey, or volleyball are better options than sports that have “down time”, such as softball and baseball. I remember when my son started playing baseball. He was an outfielder and there was an active train track behind the baseball field. While in the outfield, he would pick grass and if a train came through forget it…..all his attention was on the train. He didn’t care what was happening with the game. Many children with ADHD also benefit from martial arts training, tae kwon do, or even yoga which enhances mental control along with physical endurance. Insufficient sleep affects all children but can have exaggerated consequences for those children with ADHD. Overstimulation and medication side effects can have an adverse reaction in sleep patterns. Some strategies to use to help your child get the sleep they need include: Have a consistent, early bedtime, decrease television time (increase activities levels and exercise during the day), eliminate all caffeine from your child’s diet, lower the activity level for an hour or so before bedtime, spend 10 to 15 minutes cuddling with your child, use relaxation tapes as a background noise in their bedroom. You can also run an electric fan or purchase a sound machine which has different settings of “white noise”.

5. Establish Healthy Eating Habits: Studies have found that food can and does affect a child’s mental state, which in turn affects behavior. Monitoring and modifying what,, when, and how much your child eats can help decrease the symptoms of ADHD. All children benefit from fresh foods, regular meal times, and staying away from junk food. Schedule healthy meals or snacks for your child no more than 3 hours apart. Meal times are necessary breaks and add a scheduled rhythm to the day for your child. For the benefit of your child and you get rid of the junk foods in your home, offer healthy alternatives, and supplement your child’s diet with a multivitamin each day.

6. Teaching your Child Positive Social Skills: Children with ADHD often have difficulty with simple social interactions. They may struggle with talking too much, interrupting frequently, or come off as aggressive or intense. Due to their emotional immaturity they may become targets for unfriendly teasing. Many children with ADHD are exceptionally intelligent and creative but it is hard for them to learn social skills and social rules. Incorporating some of the following may help: Speak gently but honestly with your child abut his behavior and how to make changes, role play social scenes or scenarios with your child- trade roles often and try to make it fun, select playmates carefully for your child, select those with similar language and physical skills, invite only one friend at a time in the beginning, watch closely while they play, and set a zero tolerance policy for hitting, pushing and yelling in your house or yard- remember to follow through with consequences.

I understand it is very difficult at times to remember and follow through with all these suggestions. Some days will be better than others- we all deal with that. Through time,effort and growth on the part of your child things will improve and become more stable. 

I hope you find these tips useful, I encourage you to give me comments and feedback. It is especially helpful for most parents and children to receive counseling to help deal with ADHD. Counseling can help the child recognize his feelings, improve his social skills, and communication in the household. 

Until next time,

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC provides counseling online and in her private practice in Shippensburg, PA. She specializes in anxiety, depression and ADHD disorders in Children and Adults. Please see her contact information on her web site: www.nauglecounseling.com

Becoming a parent is an exciting adventure. As the child continues to grow every parent realizes that this is a hard job. Parenting a child with ADHD can be frustrating and overwhelming. A child with ADHD usually has greater demand, needs more involvement, and requires greater patience and understanding by the parent. As the parent of an ADHD child there is actually a lot you can do. You have the power to help your child meet his or her daily challenges and channel his or her energy in positive ways. Children with ADHD can and do succeed. The earlier and more consistently address your child’s problems the more likely their success. As I stated in one of my previous post, ADHD is a performance deficit – not doing what you know. Kids with ADHD want to do everything that is asked of them, they just don’t know how to make these things happen. Having ADHD is just as frustrating as dealing with someone who has it. Continuing to keep that in mind when parenting your child with ADHD will help to keep things in perspective. Below are some tips and guidelines in parenting your ADHD child.

1.  The Importance of a Positive Attitude: Having and keeping a positive attitude helps you to remain calm and focused. When you are calm and focused you are able to connect with your child in positive ways, giving more positive attention to your child and helping him or her be be calm and focused as well.  Giving your child special one-on-one time each day helps to reinforce your child’s unique abilities and strengths. Keeping things in perspective and remembering that your child’s behavior most of the time is not intentional but related to their disorder. Keep your sense of humor. What may be embarrassing today will be a funny family story in time. Always remind yourself to choose your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff. Your child may have had a great day at school and completes two chores at home along with their homework, if the child fails to pick up their room on top of everything else they did complete that day, don’t allow the one unfinished task to undo all the positives for the day. Keep your expectations in perspective or you will be in constant battle and conflict. Remember to say to yourself will this particular thing matter 5 years from now. The answer usually is NO.
2. Provide Structure and Be Consistent: A child with ADHD are more likely to succeed in completing tasks when they know the expectations and the tasks occur in predictable patterns and places. Your job IS to create and sustain structure and expectations in your home. Every child (including those not dealing with ADHD) needs to know what to expect and what they are expected to do. Some suggestions for creating structure in a household include: following a regular routine-establish simple and predictable rituals for meals, homework, play, and bedtime. Make use of clocks and timers. Egg timers work great for homework or getting ready in the morning. Don’t over schedule your child in after school activities. Just as adults become overwhelmed with too many scheduled activities, so do children. Allow “down time” for your child  to just be a kid and engage their creativity. Do your best to be neat and organized- role model neatness and organization as much as possible so that your child knows that everything has its place. Since studies have determined that ADHD is inherited, all the suggestions listed can greatly help all in the household.
3. Set Clear Expectations and Rules: All children and especially those with ADHD need consistent rules that they can understand and follow. Make the rules of behavior for the family simple and clear. Write them down and place them where all children in the household can easily read them (Refrigerator). Children with ADHD usually respond well to an organized system of rewards and consequences. Make a chart with stickers or stars awarded for good behavior and completing chores. The charts help your child have a visual reminder of his or her successes. Set certain milestones for specific rewards. When first starting choose a set number of stars or stickers to receive a small reward, as time goes on set the number higher to receive larger rewards.  Consequences should be spelled out in advance and occur immediately after your child has misbehaved. Try time-outs and the removal of privileges as the consequences for misbehavior. Remove your child from situations and environments that trigger inappropriate behavior. When your child misbehaves, ask what he or she could have done instead. Then have the child demonstrate it. ALWAYS follow through with a consequence. 

As you can see from the title of this blog, this is part 1 of parenting your ADHD child. There are several other tips that I will include in Part II. Until next time, keep smiling and love your very special and unique child with all your heart and don’t forget to laugh. 

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC

     It has been well over a week since I last posted on this blog. Sorry about that, several occurances happened since my last post. I had the opportunity to attend a local Chamber Mixer in my hometown. This particular mixer was held at a local nursing home facility. In talking with the Director of the home we began to discuss depression and suicide in the elderly. She stated that she recently attended a seminar and was suprised to learn that elderly men have a higher rate of suicide than teenage boys. This statistic has held true for many years. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, of every 100,000 people ages 65 and older, 14.2 died by suicide in 2006. Non-Hispanic white men age 85 or older had an even higher rate, with 48 suicide deaths per 100,000.These figures are much higher than the national average of 10.9 suicides per 100,000 people in the general population!  These are very scary statistics. In order to bring attention to these alarming rates, I feel it is very important for everyone to learn and understand the RISK FACTORS. They include:

1. depression and other mental disorders, or a substance-abuse disorder
2. prior suicide attempt
3. family history of mental disorder or substance abuse
4. family history of suicide
5. family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
6. firarms in the home, the method used in more than half of suicides
7. incarceration
8. exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, such as family members, peers, or media figures.

Please Note: suicide and suicidal behavior are Not normal responses to stress; many people have these risk factors, but are not suicidal. Research also shows that the risk for suicide is associated with changes in brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, including serotonin. Decreased levels of serotonin have been found in people with depression, impulsive disorders, and a history of suicide attempts, and in the brains of suicide victims.

As you can see, Depression is a HUGE risk factor. Earlier this week we received the May edition of the AARP Bulletin in the mail (my husband is the subscriber). In this edition they published an excellent article on depression among older adults written by Peter Jaret. In the article it stated that depression is the most common of all mental illnesses. Depression affects approximately 7% of the population and more than one in 10 Americans have a prescription for antidepressants, which is now among the most widely used of all medications.

Depression can express itself in many ways among the general population. Depression is often associated with persistent sadness and melancholy. The symptoms of depression can also be a loss of pleasure and enjoyment in the things people used to enjoy, or a change in one’s sense of oneself, a feeling of worthlessness and uselessness, a change in appetite, weight, and or sleeping patterns. These particular “markers” also apply to older people but at times are just dismissed as a normal  part of aging. In reality, the vast majority of older people go through life’s ups and downs without suffering depression. The experts insist that depression is NOT a normal part of aging.

Among older people the symptoms may present themselves in more physical forms such as problems sleeping, aches and pains, memory complaints, difficulty with concentration, and changes in appetite. An example of these types of complaints may be, “I can’t sleep, nothing taste good, and my back hurts”. Older adults may not talk to their doctor or family members about their sad or anxious feelings because they are embarrassed or don’t want them to worry about them. But depression is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is not a personal weakness, it is a medical illness and can be treated.

Treatment Options

Once diagnosed, 80% of clinically depressed individuals, including older persons, can be effectively treated by medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. Studies have shown that the combination of medication along with psychotherapy to be highly effective for banishing the shadows of depression for good. Remember you don’t have to live this way; Help is available and Proven Effective.

Until Next Time,

Lory Naugle, MS, NCC, DCC